I'm not super mom

I was pondering my next subjects... I have so many I've been researching and am interested in studying more. I was thinking about starting with whole wheat explaining the hows and whys behind it all, which can seem basic but some people just don't know. Much like myself, until 5 years ago. Or maybe sugar....

But then I realized something. I wanted to be a bit more vulnerable about why I'm writing this blog, about where I'm at in my journey towards health and taking care of my body. I'm not thinking millions of people are or ever will read my blog, but I know I don't want to write a blog that acts like I have it all together.

I'm not 'that' mama who's size zero 30 minutes after giving birth to my 3rd child and the weight fell off because I breastfed for 15 seconds and I drank 500 lbs of juiced kale everyday and LOVED it.

I'm the mama who learned about nutrition because suddenly I was responsible for a helpless tiny human being that I desperately didn't want to royally screw up. So my journey began to understand how their little bodies are wired and what they need nutritionally and how I could provide what's best for their growing bodies and brains.

I've breastfed and made baby cereal from whole grains and cooked countless sweet potatoes. I've moved into home made larabars and kefir smoothies and home made bread. 

Now, before I sound like super mom, here's my confession- It's easier to control (or attempt to control) another human being than myself. Especially when they are about 10-30% the size of yourself and can't even walk. 

Here's where I'm at in my journey. I deeply respect my babies bodies. I am learning to respect my own. Slowly. 

I heard a teaching recently that really impacted me to move forward on this journey a little more quickly. The over view of the teaching was that you can't give something away unless  you 'have' it, you really have experienced and learned it. You can tell people about what you see, but you can only give it away if you have learned it. An example was playing the piano. If you know how to play the piano you could teach others, but if you have only seen others play and know what a piano looks like and how it should sound, you can only tell others about it. I immediately thought of the relationship I had with my kids and what I was wanting to teach them. One of the things is to have respect for their bodies, to eat right and to exercise so they feel great and have energy and all the amazing things that come into balance when the body is healthy. I realized it was something that as a mom, I had put on the back burner in my own life. I figured by focusing entirely on my babies and all the things that go with it, I was the only one who was suffering by myself putting myself last. Now I've heard the whole thing about 'mama's take care of yourself so you can take care of you family'. The idea in my mind was if you feel close to burn out, take a break, otherwise I'm just going to focus on my family. Now I'm seeing how there are certain things that HAVE to be modeled, not just taught, especially the older my boys get.

So here I go. I want to exercise regularly and eat healthy, cut out all processed foods (which I've done a lot of in our family's diet) and sugar. Gah! Sugar's my friend, I love sugar! oops. Did I just say that out loud? Here's my weakness... sugar. I find comfort in a big bowl of chocolate ice cream after a crazy day with the kiddos, or in a sweet cup of coffee in the morning when it's too early, or in the afternoon when everyone is down for nap/quiet time. Part two of this post will be about sugar, and the scientific side of it, but for now here's my emotional/ imperfect self starting a journey. I am going to get off of processed sugars completely and to use unprocessed sugars very minimally and have desserts as a special treat verses daily or multiple times daily. 

So here you go. I'm not super mom. I'm a mama on a journey, in pursuit of something better for myself and my family, and I don't want to settle.