Saturday, June 27, 2015

Perfectionism

So I wrote a blog post the other day and realized that I hadn't written in about 2 years. In those 2 years I got pregnant again (big surprise) and had baby boy #4 (another big surprise). I have changed and grown a lot in these last two years, which I'm happy about. One of the many things I've faced inside myself is perfectionism. Sometimes it can be talked about in a positive light, but mostly for me it's negative. 

“Understanding the difference between healthy striving and perfectionism is critical to laying down the shield and picking up your life. Research shows that perfectionism hampers success. In fact, it's often the path to depression, anxiety, addiction, and life paralysis.”
― BrenĂ© BrownThe Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

“Too many people spend too much time trying to perfect something before they actually do it. Instead of waiting for perfection, run with what you got, and fix it along the way…”
― Paul Arden

“At its root, perfectionism isn’t really about a deep love of being meticulous. It’s about fear. Fear of making a mistake. Fear of disappointing others. Fear of failure. Fear of success.”
― Michael Law

“Perfectionism doesn't believe in practice shots. It doesn't believe in improvement. Perfectionism has never heard that anything worth doing is worth doing badly--and that if we allow ourselves to do something badly we might in time become quite good at it. Perfectionism measures our beginner's work against the finished work of masters. Perfectionism thrives on comparison and competition. It doesn't know how to say, "Good try," or "Job well done." The critic does not believe in creative glee--or any glee at all, for that matter. No, perfectionism is a serious matter.”
― Julia CameronFinding Water: The Art of Perseverance

I have had baby number 4 and gone through quite a bit physically and emotionally and spiritually these last two years to have a myriad of 'legitimate' excuses to not write often, but the reason I'm facing today is my perfectionism. I realized that I don't like putting something in writing and then posting and then a day later realize that should have said it better or researched a bit more or what ever other reasoning hits me.
So I'm finding my voice. I'm speaking and falling on my face and learning and it's not as terrifying as I thought it might be. People are more gracious and forgiving and less judgmental than I thought. And life's for learning and living not getting it right. So I'll be voicing thoughts in this little space every now and then. None of my thoughts will be perfect or earth shattering, but that's alright by me.

Friday, June 26, 2015

My thoughts on today...

I've been on Facebook and the internet today and can't help but think and pray and feel things deep in my heart. If you know me, you probably know I really don't like controversy. I really want all of us to get along. I hate when people are mad at me and don't often speak up if it's unnecessary. But today my heart is full and so I write. I write for me mostly, to help process what's in my heart. And I'm asking myself questions and asking God for feedback.

What would Jesus say? What would He say to his church? How is He wanting to respond? How does He want us to respond? 


People are watching. We are representing who He is and what He's about. That's a heavy load.
I don't have answers. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to say it all perfectly as to not offend any one. Here's what I do know.


Jesus loves. We all know that in our head, but having it hit our heart. Jesus is flat out crazy about us. He's deeply in love with His church. Let's face it, we can be quite the messed up group. The religious folks were the ones that Jesus had the most run ins with, and yet, He loves us so much. He deeply wants us to know His love so that we don't fear. I think often the church resorts to fear, control and manipulation as it's source of power rather than love. We tell others, each other and even ourselves about rules and consequences and boundaries and law. We have all the consequences and names laid out so clearly and have so much fear if we or someone else crosses any of these lines. We start to yell, and then when people don't listen we can get down right mean, cruel and go into rejecting and picking sides. 


Then Jesus would turn to those who wouldn't be the types to go to church, and love them. He would introduce Himself since they probably wouldn't recognize Him, because His beloved Church has many times so mistakenly wrapped itself in rules and not in a Person. He would want to go get a drink or go to their house and hang out. Get to know them as well as have them get to know Him. He would have deep compassion, understanding and the person being listened to would feel truly heard. Who ever really encounters Jesus knows how much He values and treasures and loves them. It's honestly mind-blowing and doesn't make much sense, but it's the truth.
When I talk to Him about it, I hear Him whisper that this war breaks His heart. He doesn't pick sides. He doesn't look for truth and join that team. He IS Truth. He IS love. 


I read articles about "us" and "them", some respectful and some derogatory on both sides of issues. What if we have it backwards. What if it's about a Person, not an issue and sides. What if we're simply at war with our misperceptions of who Jesus is and/or how we represent Him, not with the person who has yet to meet Him. I believe that most people on both sides have really good intentions, while the way they are going about discussing or communicating vary from misinformed to hateful. I really do have faith in humanity. I believe that if we were to let go of our fear, our judgements, our preconceived ideas of who the person we're talking to is and who Jesus is and really listen, everything would change. If fear is not our motivation, what is left? I don't have all the answers, but in looking at my sweet Jesus' life I find many truths in the Truth. Love does win. I don't even know exactly how it should look or what it will end up looking like, but I know it's true. I know that, as the church, we cannot simply give up and talk about how this world is falling apart and how the devil's winning. We are called to be light and to spread Good News. GOOD news! Do I personally believe that God has a purpose and design for creation and boundaries where His love wants to keep us in to protect our hearts. Oh yes. But when I read the Bible, that is not my job, to bring some rule to the forefront and focus on it until everyone sees. My job, is to be Christ, to love, to listen, to protect, to have compassion. My job is also to not fear, to not revert to control, to not judge. Does that mean I agree with everyone about everything. No, I am strong in what I believe and why. I really am. But I need to check in with my Jesus about what's my job and what's His. When I read my Bible, it makes it clear that He's the only one who is loving enough to render true and just judgement. He's the only one who even understands enough about everything to even know which way's up and how to even start. I don't. I don't even know my own heart sometimes. I get prideful and start feeling like I've got something figured out, and then I get dangerous. I start to hurt people when I get in that place and need to repent. What if, as a church, we started there. Laid down any rights we thought we had (Jesus did that) and repented for all the ways we haven't loved and represented Jesus for who He really is, and then asked if we could try again? We started from a place of humility and brokenness in our own humanity?
Could I start? I'm so sorry. The church can be a mess. Please know most of us really do mean well, but we have our own junk that has gotten in the way and made us very proud and judgmental and hurtful. I don't know you. I don't know why you do what you do. I cross a line when I start acting like God and telling you I do know. I'm sorry for all the pain we've caused. Because Jesus is SO safe, we, as His church, should be the safest place in the world, and yet we haven't been. We've been a place where you have to be perfect or be fixed in such a short timeline that it creates and atmosphere of hypocrisy. I'm deeply sorry for not being a place where anyone can come and be heard and felt valued and important, because that's what Jesus does. I'm mostly very very sorry and deeply grieved for the Church so misrepresenting who Jesus is that now you don't want anything to do with Him. Oh how it breaks my heart. He's so beautiful, so loving and so merciful. He sees all your pain and deeply cares and wants to bring healing to your precious heart. I'm sorry for being so fearful that we've pushed you away. I hope we will wake up to our calling and start loving, but I can't promise that, but I can promise that Jesus will never change and always is ready to be awesome and accepting. Your heart is so precious to Him.
To the church. I know most of us do care. We care about peoples souls, knowing Jesus and coming to Him. I know we've been trained in how to share the gospel and how to color inside the lines so we can make something beautiful. I also know, that pride that can sneak in, it starts small, and can grow. The Gospel starts simple and becomes complicated. The passion for Jesus and His truth can start to morph into a religion that is all about coloring in the lines and not about the picture. Sweet church, I don't judge. I know that Jesus is passionately in love with us just as much as those outside of it. Did you know that? Jesus is still passionately and deeply in love with you. Even after we make a mess of things, He sees our hearts and motivations and want to bring gentle correction to help us accomplish what we want to rather than be frustrated by our efforts and to keep the cycle of pain going. He has given us the power to stop the cycle. We're not victims of evil. His love will win. If we humble ourselves, apologize and start trying to learn who Jesus is and how He loves, things will change. God's kindness leads to repentance. It's God's job to deal with all of our hearts, it's our job to love. Could we do that? Could we try? It's scary. That's why we run to control. But control is based out of fear, and God's perfect love casts out all fear, so than that means that God can't be any part of our control.... which is why I'd guess it's really not working. So if we can't control the world, if we can't motivate them by fear.... what's left? Something God's been teaching me, is you can't give something away until you've received it. I think a lot of us haven't really deep down received how much Jesus loves us. Way deep down to who I am and what I'm about without any of my good deeds or resume, but stripped down to my core, that me, Jesus deeply deeply loves. When that hits home, everything changes. Dear church, Jesus loves you like that. Outside of your service, outside of your junk, before your repent or change or do better, Jesus sees that you, and wants to hold you tight and whisper His Truth into your heart. Could we do that? Could we get that vulnerable with our amazingly perfect Savior and let Him go deep? If we did, I know everything would change. We can talk all we want about how much Jesus loves the world, but if it's coming out of our heads and not our hearts, it's just noise. I don't want to add my voice to the noise and just make more noise anymore. I want Jesus love to pierce into the darkness (including the hidden places in my heart) and shine.
To the few on both sides that are filled with hate. I'm sorry. I know you probably can't hear my heart or what I'm saying, but I truly am. Hate almost always comes from pain, and so I'm sorry for your pain that you went through to get to this point. I'm sorry that you feel like this is the only way to fight and you most likely feel trapped and alone and misunderstood. I hope and pray you too can find a place where you can let go of any of your fear and find the peace that is letting Jesus love on you.
I don't have the answer, but I know there is one. I don't know how long it will take to play out, but I do know that I cannot participate in this war against people who Jesus loves so deeply. I also know that I am not a victim, I am a participant in some way. And so I choose love. My tiny voice, my little light, will shine. Thank you Jesus for your love. Thank you Jesus your love is bigger than any hate or judgement. Thank you Jesus for being You in the middle of the crazy and always bringing us back to You. Please help us to look like Corinthians 13.


1 Corinthians 13 New International Version (NIV)


13 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Sugar's Not The Devil....


I've gotten stuck on this post. Mostly because it's huge, scientific, and I feel like it's had so much research to support it, that I couldn't do it justice in the amount of time I have to write a little blog post. So, I've taken a different approach. I'm just going to say why I don't feed my children processed sugars and minimize their sugar intake overall.
Because I'm a jerk and don't like to have fun.
JUST KIDDING.
But that's the first argument to over come... But that's not fun! Not giving your kids candy and seeing their little eyes light up and jump up and down for joy.
When we were potty training my first I got desperate. Really desperate. And I broke out the candy, ice cream WHATEVER it took to get that kiddo to get it! And then on the flip side I encountered another child. About 20 minutes after he had consumed his large sugary 'prize' I could meet a child who couldn't handle himself. He was overly emotional, hyper, sporadic and kind of crazy. But what I remember the most is the look in his eyes, like he didn't understand what was happening inside of him or feel safe inside his own skin. I remember that look when society pressures to 'have fun' and lighten up about this whole sugar thing. Everything comes with a price tag.
Another reason I avoid processed sugars is that they normally are packaged with many other chemicals and additives and food colorings that I also want to avoid because of the havoc they reek on tiny (and all) bodies. Again, I'll have to write a quick blog about that one too!
Now is sugar in and of itself evil and of the devil. No. Do I freak out at my sister in laws wedding when cake is served and throw my kids in the car and leave muttering about high fructose corn syrup and food colorings. No. But I do cut a slice in half and the boys share, um, yes.
Now when the word moderation is thrown around people have their own definitions on what that means. For my kids, they have dessert once every few weeks ish. We don't have cookies, cakes, ice cream, puddings, soda, or juice hardly ever. Snacks are nuts, fruit, dried fruit, smoothies, veggies and home made lara bars.
Now because this is such a huge subject that has been very well written on and researched, I just pulled a few sections out of some articles for you to read if you wanted a concise over view with the links following. Here are a few of the more scientific reasons why I strictly limit my kids sugar consumption.

"The complex carbohydrates found in vegetables, grains, and fruits are good for you; the simple sugars found in sodas, candies, icings, and packaged treats can do harm, at least when eaten in excess. It's as simple as that. Here's why:

Excess sugar depresses immunity. Studies have shown that downing about 20 teaspoons of sugar can suppress the body's immune responses. Simple sugars, including glucose, table sugar, fructose, and honey caused a fifty- percent drop in the ability of white blood cells to engulf bacteria. In contrast, ingesting a complex carbohydrate solution (starch) did not lower the ability of these white blood cells to engulf bacteria. The immune suppression was most noticeable two hours post-ingestion, but the effect was still evident five hours after ingestion. This research has practical implications, especially for teens and college students who tend to overdose on sodas containing caffeine and sugar while studying for exams or during periods of stress. Stress also suppresses immunity, so these sugar-users are setting themselves up to get sick at a time when they need to be well.

An overdose of sugar. Eating or drinking 100 grams (8 tbsp.) of sugar, the equivalent of two- and-a-half 12-ounce cans of soda, can reduce the ability of white blood cells to kill germs by 40 percent. The immune-suppressing effect of sugar starts less than thirty minutes after ingestion and may last for five hours. In contrast, the ingestion of complex carbohydrates, or starches, has no effect on the immune system.

Sugar sours behavior, attention, and learning. Studies of the effects of sugar on children's behavior are as wildly contradictory as a sugar-crazed four-year-old after a birthday party, but the general consensus is that some children and adults are sugar-sensitive, meaning their behavior, attention span, and learning ability deteriorate in proportion to the amount of junk sugar they consume.

Sugar promotes sugar highs. Some persons are more sugar sensitive than others, and children may be more sensitive than adults A study comparing the sugar response in children and adults showed that the adrenaline levels in children remained ten times higher than normal for up to five hours after a test dose of sugar. Studies have also shown that some children with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) react to glucose intolerance tests with a dip to low blood sugar levels. High adrenaline levels or low blood sugar levels produce abnormal behavior."

FROM SWEET TO SOUR CHILDREN
"Research suggests that children are more sugar sensitive than adults, and the effects are more pronounced in younger children, according to Dr. Keith Conners, author of Feeding the Brain. This could be related to the fact that the brain grows rapidly in the preschool years, exaggerating the effects of sugar on behavior and learning.
In an interesting study, researchers fed normal preschoolers a high-sugar drink, containing the amount of sugar in the average can of soda, and compared them with children who received a non-sugar drink. The sugar group experienced decreased learning performance and more hyperactivity than the non-sugar group.

Children tagged with the ADHD label are often sugar-sensitive. There may be several reasons for this. Hyperactive kids are impulsive and need instant gratification. They need more energy and they need it now! Unable to curb their appetite, they overdose on junk foods. Some studies of hyperactive children show a higher blood sugar rise following a high sugar meal than one finds in normally active children. Hyperactive children seem to metabolize sugar differently. In response to a high sugar meal, hyperactive kids increase their output of the stress hormone, cortisol, the hormone that plays an important role in regulating blood sugar levels. Dr. Keith Conners, author of Feeding the Brain, concludes from his original research that while the neurotransmitters in the brains of normally active children signal the hormones to regulate blood sugar, brains of hyperactive children do not seem to send the same signals.

While studies show that activity levels go up in both hyperactive and normal children on high- sugar diets, the hyperactive children also become more aggressive. Adding protein to a high- sugar meal mellows out the behavioral and learning deterioration. Chalk up another point for eating a balanced breakfast.

Sugar promotes cravings. The more sugar you eat, the more sugar you want. A high sugar meal raises the blood glucose level, which triggers the outpouring of insulin. This excess insulin lingers in the system, triggering a craving for more sugar, thus adding another hill to the roller coaster ride.

Sugar promotes obesity. People tend to eat and drink too much foods and beverages that are sweetened with refined sugar. Foods with a high glycemic index stimulate the production of LPL (lipoprotein lipase), the enzymes that encourage the body to store food in fat cells. Thus, lowfat diets that contain carbohydrates with a high glycemic index can actually cause weight gain. It's much easier to binge on chocolate chip cookies than fresh peaches or apples. Healthier sugars usually come with a lot of fiber that takes up room in the stomach. All those extra calories have to go somewhere. Your body says, "Ah, extra energy. I'll pack that away as fat and save it in case there's ever a famine!" Refined starches, such as white flour, white rice, white pasta, and corn starch are more likely to turn into body fat than natural starches, such as whole grains which, because they contain more fiber, are digested more slowly and raise the blood sugar less drastically. Yes, fat will make you fat, but so will sugar. Put them together in soda and chips or high-fat baked goods, and you can expect to put on some pounds. So, even though fat has gotten the reputation as an unhealthful food, excess sugars deserve an equal reputation.

Sugar promotes diabetes. While the risk of developing diabetes lies more in the genes than in the diet, the old grandmother's tale that too much sugar causes diabetes does have scientific support.

Sugar promotes heart disease. When bears are storing up body fat for their long winter hibernation, they consume lots and lots of carbohydrates. When you eat excess carbohydrates, your body turns these sugars into fat. The body stores excesses of most nutrients as a safeguard against starvation. If you eat more carbohydrates than you can burn off, the excess is stored as fats. People who eat too much sugar tend to have higher blood tryglycerides, and this increases the risk of cardiovascular disease."



http://www.sheknows.com/health-and-wellness/articles/826563/how-is-sugar-hurting-your-kids

http://prn.fm/2012/04/03/gary-null-sugars-harm-on-your-body/#axzz2ZEm7enGZ

http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/family-nutrition/sugar/harmful-effects-excess-sugar

http://www.thehealthyhomeeconomist.com/slay-the-sugar-monster-in-four-doable-steps/

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Sugar Part 1

Sugar... dun, dun, dun!

What's so bad about sugar that everyone's gotta pick on it! It's not so bad right? I don't eat that much right?

Well, one of the hardest parts about sugar is that it's currently in EVERYTHING! Pick up any type of processed food in the grocery store and you'll see it staring back at you. Ketchup? Check. Bread? Check. Healthy granola cereal? Check. Healthy vinaigrette salad dressing? Check. Yogurt? Check. Crackers? Yep.
Sometimes it's a bit overwhelming.

It helps to know the 'lingo'. Sugar comes in different forms and a variety of names. All of the following sweeteners provide you with calories and all have little or no nutritional value (known as ‘empty calories’). Sugar, dextrose, maltose, glucose, fructose, corn sweetener, honey( as apposed to raw local honey), corn syrup, sucrose, sorghum syrup, sorbitol, brown sugar, lactos, molasses, syrup, fruit juice concentrate, and high-fructose corn syrup.

Two hundred years ago, the average American ate only 2 pounds of sugar a year. In comparison in 1970, Americans ate 123 pounds of sugar per year. Today, the average American consumes almost 152 pounds of sugar in one year. This equals to 3 pounds of sugar in one week!
Nutritionists suggest that Americans should get only 10% of their calories from sugar. This equals 13.3 teaspoons of sugar per day (based on 2,000 calories per day). The current average is 42.5 teaspoons of sugar per day!

That's a lot of sugar my friend.

So why exactly is sugar so bad for your body? Why is everyone so worked up about sugar?

Sugar suppresses the immune system. When you consume sugar, it's like someone punched you immune system in the face, and it takes a bit to recover. Now if you're eating sugar mulitiple times a day every day, this is pretty hard on the system. Basically what's happening is Vitamin C and sugar possess the same chemical structure. When your white blood cells see the sugar, they prefer the sugar over the vitamin C. So your white blood cells are getting their fill of sugar too. :( makes for not happy or healthy white blood cells.

Increases Acidity Levels. Increase in our bodies acidity can cause issues such as fatigue, cavities, and even cancer. This increase also inhibits the body’s natural ability to repair damaged cells, detoxify heavy metals, or absorb nutrients.

Sugar promotes improper inflammation. Inflammation is not always a bad thing, but when sugar is consumed the body responds with unnecessary inflammation, that actually promotes aging and disease.

Causes Yeast Infections. Sugar causes candida albicans, a naturally-present yeast in our bodies, to take control and cause yeast infections. Eczema can also be irritated by this yeast.

Sugar promotes glycation. Sugar can attach itself to protein and fat molecules. When they attach they will produce toxic compounds called advanced glycation end products, or, AGEs. These AGEs essentially speed up the aging process. And much of the damage done by AGEs is irreversible.

Raises Triglycerides. Excess amounts of sugar in the body causes a rise in triglycerides, which is fat in the blood. Contributes to organ and tissue problems such as coronary disease and heart attacks, and obesity issues.

Encourages Stress. The adrenal glands, which are walnut-sized glands on top of the kidneys, produce hormones that have anti-oxidant and anti-inflammatory functions. One adrenal hormone, called cortisol, assists the body’s healthy response to any type of stress from physical to emotional. When sugar consumption is high, this strains the adrenal gland, causing cortisol production to be low, a condition known as adrenal fatigue (of which I personally have suffered with from time to time). This, in turn, encourages your stress levels to elevate (which then causes other symptoms like insomnia, acne, etc.).

Sugar raises insulin levels. When you eat sugar your blood sugar levels will zoom up. Shortly after, your pancreas will release insulin to help clear sugar from your blood into your cells. As blood sugar levels go down, insulin levels return to normal. But when you eat a lot of sugar, you’re constantly calling for insulin, and that can backfire. Over time, it takes more and more insulin to get the job done. Eventually, your pancreas may just stop responding to the call. Which can then develop into insulin-dependent diabetes. And along the way, exposing your cells and organs to chronically high insulin levels accelerates the aging process

Damages Teeth. Sugar feeds the germs in the mouth. As a result, cavities form, gingivitis develops, and teeth become yellow.

Causes Addiction. Sugar can be a highly addictive substance. In fact, scientists have proven that sugar has the same reaction in the human brain as cocaine. It triggers a serge in dopamine, which is a neurotransmitter that controls the brain’s pleasure centers (same thing happens in a drug abuser’s brain when using cocaine). This causes individuals to have a sweet tooth and makes them want more and more sugar. Even withdrawal from sugar is similar to withdrawal from cocaine—severe headache, extreme fatigue, and shaking.
And so it's strongly recommended, when you are wanting to cut sugar out of your diet, to not go cold turkey. Rather, wean yourself slowly. Start reading labels and choosing where you want to have your sugars come from and where you don't.*

In Parts 2 and 3 I'm going to address artificial sweeteners, and how sugar affects children, and less processes/natural sweetener options.


I'm also going to work on a post for snacks that I do with my kiddos that aren't processed, that my 3 year old and 4 year old will eat, and aren't too time consuming or ridiculously expensive. But for now, here's just one!


Favorite snack with out sugar but SUPER sweet!


NutButter Home Made Lara Bars


I love Lara bars. Just a few simple natural ingredients blended together for a delicious snack. Now, I have four boys to feed, and at over a $1 each, I'm not able to buy them... then I discovered how easy it is to make them! All you need is a food processor!


So here's my basic recipe.


2 Cups Pitted Dates
1 1/3 cup Cashews
1/3 Cup Nut Butter (we use almond or peanut, but just pick your favorite!)
1/2 Teaspoon real vanilla
1/2 Teaspoon sea salt
1/3-1/2 Cup Mix ins! (organic chocolate chips, organic white chocolate chips or dried fruit)


Process them all in the food processor for about 90 seconds, you'll want the nuts into fairly small chunks. Now you get to do the fun part! Now my boys like to make little round 'cookie dough' balls out of these. My husband prefers the simple bar shape. So We normally make half and half. For the bar shape, you just need to smash them really compact and then sliced up in the sizes you want. You'll want to use parchment or freezer paper when you store these so they won't stick together! Then store in an air tight container in the fridge for an easy sweet snack!

*Some of my information was from EatingItReal's Blog

Monday, July 8, 2013

I'm not super mom

I was pondering my next subjects... I have so many I've been researching and am interested in studying more. I was thinking about starting with whole wheat explaining the hows and whys behind it all, which can seem basic but some people just don't know. Much like myself, until 5 years ago. Or maybe sugar....

But then I realized something. I wanted to be a bit more vulnerable about why I'm writing this blog, about where I'm at in my journey towards health and taking care of my body. I'm not thinking millions of people are or ever will read my blog, but I know I don't want to write a blog that acts like I have it all together.

I'm not 'that' mama who's size zero 30 minutes after giving birth to my 3rd child and the weight fell off because I breastfed for 15 seconds and I drank 500 lbs of juiced kale everyday and LOVED it.

I'm the mama who learned about nutrition because suddenly I was responsible for a helpless tiny human being that I desperately didn't want to royally screw up. So my journey began to understand how their little bodies are wired and what they need nutritionally and how I could provide what's best for their growing bodies and brains.

I've breastfed and made baby cereal from whole grains and cooked countless sweet potatoes. I've moved into home made larabars and kefir smoothies and home made bread. 
Now, before I sound like super mom, here's my confession- It's easier to control (or attempt to control) another human being than myself. Especially when they are about 10-30% the size of yourself and can't even walk. 

Here's where I'm at in my journey. I deeply respect my babies bodies. I am learning to respect my own. Slowly. 

I heard a teaching recently that really impacted me to move forward on this journey a little more quickly. The over view of the teaching was that you can't give something away unless  you 'have' it, you really have experienced and learned it. You can tell people about what you see, but you can only give it away if you have learned it. An example was playing the piano. If you know how to play the piano you could teach others, but if you have only seen others play and know what a piano looks like and how it should sound, you can only tell others about it. I immediately thought of the relationship I had with my kids and what I was wanting to teach them. One of the things is to have respect for their bodies, to eat right and to exercise so they feel great and have energy and all the amazing things that come into balance when the body is healthy. I realized it was something that as a mom, I had put on the back burner in my own life. I figured by focusing entirely on my babies and all the things that go with it, I was the only one who was suffering by myself putting myself last. Now I've heard the whole thing about 'mama's take care of yourself so you can take care of you family'. The idea in my mind was if you feel close to burn out, take a break, otherwise I'm just going to focus on my family. Now I'm seeing how there are certain things that HAVE to be modeled, not just taught, especially the older my boys get.

So here I go. I want to exercise regularly and eat healthy, cut out all processed foods (which I've done a lot of in our family's diet) and sugar. Gah! Sugar's my friend, I love sugar! oops. Did I just say that out loud? Here's my weakness... sugar. I find comfort in a big bowl of chocolate ice cream after a crazy day with the kiddos, or in a sweet cup of coffee in the morning when it's too early, or in the afternoon when everyone is down for nap/quiet time. Part two of this post will be about sugar, and the scientific side of it, but for now here's my emotional/ imperfect self starting a journey. I am going to get off of processed sugars completely and to use unprocessed sugars very minimally and have desserts as a special treat verses daily or multiple times daily. 

So here you go. I'm not super mom. I'm a mama on a journey, in pursuit of something better for myself and my family, and I don't want to settle. 

Friday, July 5, 2013

my love of kefir

My most recent nutritional love... kefir.
What is kefir? It's a probiotic beverage. It's like a super charged yogurt in a thick fluid like form. Here's what I love about kefir, it normally contains a large number of both live bacteria and yeast (more than 50 strains).
If you do a bit of research in nutrition and food processing history, you'll find out that when bacteria was discovered and the scientists figured out how to kill them.... they killed all bacteria in any types of processed foods. Years and years later, we're  now realizing that there are so many GOOD types of bacteria and yeast that are really beneficial to our digestive tract and just keeping our bodies in balance. 


And so I discovered kefir and come to find out, the kefir made in stores is made out of a kefir powder rather than a grain.... and the powder has maybe 7-9 strands of bacteria, and the home made kind made with kefir grains can contain more than 50.

Kefir is SUPER easy to make. You buy these cute little grains (not really a 'grain', like a wheat or something like that, so it's gluten free, but they are called grains any way... don't ask me why.)
from some place like culturesforlife.com and re-hydrate them for a few days. Then you pour in your milk with the grains, let them sit for 12-48 hours on your counter covered with a coffee filter and rubber band as a cover and viola! Kefir! Just strain out your grains and use them again! Put your kefir in your fridge until you want to use it! Other options for using your kefir are to bake with it, you can strain with a cheese cloth and make kefir cheese or I've made a home-made ranch before!

I've been trying to make a smoothie for the boys and I almost everyday. I like the idea of getting probiotics in them this way rather than through processed probiotics. I'll write more on why another time!

Here's the smoothie I made today. SO good. A tip I found on another blog, can't remember where, was to put in frozen watermelon chunks into your smoothie. It makes it extra yummy. And that's a scientific fact. Trust me.

Summer Peach Kefir Smoothie


1 cup Kefir (I use homemade)
2 fresh peaches (or frozen)
1/2 ripe banana
4 large chunks of frozen watermelon
1-2 tablespoons of raw local honey
4-6 ice cubes

Put all ingredients together in the blender, starting with the liquids first and blend!

SO good! Summer in a glass!
And my boys always ask for more! Win!

In pursuit...

In pursuit of happiness, life and love. Sounds pretty patriotic, but I was thinking about it, all the things I'm pursuing and wanting for myself and my family, and almost all of them fall under those three topics. 
This will be my little place to write out my thoughts, what I'm pursuing, learning and growing in- an online journal so to speak. I'm not and never will say that the way I view things is the only right way to be a mommy or wife or person. This will just be my place to write about my views and where I'm at. :)
We're in a season of transition, well have been for most of the 7 years of our marriage really, moving 6 times in those 7 years and now having 3 boys four and under, and in the place we're in we can start making decisions with more clarity. In a place to dream with God rather than focusing on survival or just getting through.
Dreaming is so healthy for the heart. When my husband and I start to dream together, personally, as a couple, and for our family, it brings more vision and clarity and hope! I love hope. It's so great. :)
As a mommy, I have been learning so much. When Asher was born I knew very little about this whole how to raise a healthy human being. And being the researcher that I am, has started me on this long journey into understanding what we eat, why we eat it, and what our options really are. 
And so, here we go....