Perfectionism

So I wrote a blog post the other day and realized that I hadn't written in about 2 years. In those 2 years I got pregnant again (big surprise) and had baby boy #4 (another big surprise). I have changed and grown a lot in these last two years, which I'm happy about. One of the many things I've faced inside myself is perfectionism. Sometimes it can be talked about in a positive light, but mostly for me it's negative. 

“Understanding the difference between healthy striving and perfectionism is critical to laying down the shield and picking up your life. Research shows that perfectionism hampers success. In fact, it's often the path to depression, anxiety, addiction, and life paralysis.”
― Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

“Too many people spend too much time trying to perfect something before they actually do it. Instead of waiting for perfection, run with what you got, and fix it along the way…”
― Paul Arden

“At its root, perfectionism isn’t really about a deep love of being meticulous. It’s about fear. Fear of making a mistake. Fear of disappointing others. Fear of failure. Fear of success.”
― Michael Law

“Perfectionism doesn't believe in practice shots. It doesn't believe in improvement. Perfectionism has never heard that anything worth doing is worth doing badly--and that if we allow ourselves to do something badly we might in time become quite good at it. Perfectionism measures our beginner's work against the finished work of masters. Perfectionism thrives on comparison and competition. It doesn't know how to say, "Good try," or "Job well done." The critic does not believe in creative glee--or any glee at all, for that matter. No, perfectionism is a serious matter.”
― Julia Cameron, Finding Water: The Art of Perseverance

I have had baby number 4 and gone through quite a bit physically and emotionally and spiritually these last two years to have a myriad of 'legitimate' excuses to not write often, but the reason I'm facing today is my perfectionism. I realized that I don't like putting something in writing and then posting and then a day later realize that should have said it better or researched a bit more or what ever other reasoning hits me.

So I'm finding my voice. I'm speaking and falling on my face and learning and it's not as terrifying as I thought it might be. People are more gracious and forgiving and less judgmental than I thought. And life's for learning and living not getting it right. So I'll be voicing thoughts in this little space every now and then. None of my thoughts will be perfect or earth shattering, but that's alright by me.